Robin and the 7 Hoods 👎

Well... it's kind of obvious this movie fails in almost every way possible.
So, why did I watch it? I got curious. I saw a pretty bad musical number, and thought "Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby and Sammy Davis Jr. How bad can it be? This must be just one of the worse numbers." Well... it was.

It is an OK movie, Robin Hood set in 20s gangster scene, and it's a comedic musical. It has brilliant moments (I love how Robin and Little John have their staff fighting over the stream as a game of pool... that was brilliant. And Martin cleans the table while singing "a man who loves his mother" :-D Brilliant!), good ideas, it is funny, and the guys can sing and act, but... er... uh... it's really just a big mess. There really isn't a story. I don't get a good idea of the characters or who they are, so I really don't care about any of them, or what happens to them. (Except Marian the Femme Fatale Villain... she was interesting.) I have to say Gordon Douglas wasn't that good a director.
The actors, especially Sammy Davis jr., Peter Falk and Victor Buono, save the show. Bing Crosby is his reliable self. None of the actors does a bad job, but they don't have that good parts.

6,5/10 IMDb
44 % Rotten Tomatoes

X Bechdel test

Of course it fails! What did you think? Who would be discussing with whom? There's only one woman named, and the Robinettes in the above picture just smile and are pretty.

X Mako Mori Test

V Sexy Lamp Test

X The Crystal Gems Test

Only one female character in the whole movie. Ok, let's give the cocktail waitress a pass. Two. Doesn't change anything :-D

X F-Rating

X Sphinx Test

X The Feldman Score

Well... there is a female character initiating sexual advances. That's about it.

X Furiosa Test

X The Roxane Gay Test

Though I have to say Marian plays quite a big role here.
Is she a complex female character? Well... I don't think so.
Does she contribute significantly to the story? Sort of.
Is she driving the action? Not really.
Is the woman active? Yes.
How stereotypical is the character? Very, I would say. And at the same time not. It is quite interesting role.
Is she compelling, complex and multidimensional? Not really.
But - she isn't the romantic interest, a sidekick, or bit player.
But - her world wasn't populated with intelligent women - or women at all, really - and she didn't really have a story.

X Molly Haskell

X The Maisy Test for sexism in kids' shows

X  Gender Balance - Gender Representation:

There's about 20 males for each female, and most women are showgirls, waitresses, cigarette girls etc. There is one "main" role for a woman, and... she's someone's daughter.

X Gender Freedom:

Boys get to have all the adventures, make decisions, and nobody subverts anything.

X Gender Safety:

Well... there is no sexualization of children. Except that... perhaps the women are teenagers.

X Social Justice and Equality:

No disabled people, orphans are mentioned, but not in any significant manner, everyone is straight and about the same class etc. Well... Marian is a "society dame" and Robin not.
No critique of power structures, consumerism, environment or social justice.Well... Alan creates several beneficial institutions to help the poor and downtrodden, but it's more or less just a front to Robin's criminal activities.

The first female enters the movie at 12:30, there's a black funeral going on at the cemetary at the same time, with some female participants.Maid Marian is presented - or shown - at 15 minutes. She walks by the guys, leaves a rose on the gasket, walks out - the guys comment on her looks.
First female talking role, some time later - an unnamed cocktail waitress Dean Martin hits on.

X The Uphold Test 

X The Rees Davies Test

X The White Test

X The Hagen Test

The first TWO crowd scenes were SOLELY men.
Only ONE named female in the cast of 23.

X The Koeze-Dottle Test

V The Peirce Test

I think it passes. Marian is an antagonist with her own story. She has dimension - at least a little - and exists authentically with needs and desires that she pursues through dramatic action, and one can understand her desires and actions.

V The Villarreal Test

I think it passes. She is in a position of authority and is sexual.

X The Landau Test

V The Tauriel Test

Let's give it a pass.

X The Willis Test

X the MacGyver Test

V the Raleigh Becket Test

I think it passes :-D Even though the development of the female character was negative and had a very negative impact on the central male character's narrative arc. And even though she tries to end up as a romantic interest, he doesn't want to.

Age of primary and secondary actors
Frank Sinatra - 49
Dean Martin - 47
Sammy Davis Jr. - 39
Bing Crosby - 61
Peter Falk - 37
Barbara Rush - 37

No male nudity, many women wearing revealing nightclub hostess clothing.

Oh, no, that's not Robin and his hoods, 

that's Robin and Babe, Sweetheart, Honey, Bird, Dollface, Toots, and Sweetie

X Gender Bias Without Borders

C The Representation Test

X The Vito Russo test

X Kent test

X Aila test

X The Waithe Test

X The Ko Test

X The Villalobos Test

X The Deggans Test

X The Shukla Test

X The Latif Test

So... how could it be better?

So many ways...

The obvious is, of course, more jobs for women, on screen and behind it.

They could have given the cocktail waitresses bigger role, names, more importance. I was expecting the first female speaking role to be bigger, for example. She could have had a name.
The gangsters could have had girlfriends, wives, sisters, what ever.
Then they could have had two molls having a discussion about something. I mean, it could have been something as trivial as hats or food or dance steps.

Had they had three named female characters, for example, Marian, Marian's friend or maid, and the waitress... perhaps even four named females, they could have named one of the dance girls, the waitress' friend, the movie could have had a chance to pass the Crystal Gems test.
I mean, if Marian's butler had been a housekeeper instead, and they had had the discussion about the salon being prepared, the movie would have passed Bechdel test :-D It wouldn't have been in any way unusual, inappropriate, disturbing, or odd, if a single woman living alone, had had a female "butler" instead of a male one. On the contrary. The butler did nothing that would have required a male for the role.

I don't even care if they had employed Jayne Mansfield or Joi Lansing as someone's girlfriend, and given her personality like Lina Lamont in Singin' in the Rain or Norma Cassidy in Victor Victoria.

I wish they had done more with Marian.

I wish Dean Martin didn't call every female "babe". I wish Robbo had called the women working for him their names instead of "Sweetheart".

There should have been more roles for colored people, and good roles.

Representation of marginalized groups.

Less stereotypical macho man roles for men. I seriously hate how Dean Martin always plays Frank's second and is all "Bros before hoes" guy.

Less sexualisation and objectification of women. OR more that of men to balance it out.

"They made him the Jean Harlow and Mickey Mouse"

Er... the movie is set to 1928. 

Mickey Mouse was created 1928, and Jean Harlow had her first major role 1930. 

Nobody knew who they were 1928.